"You seem very angry"

That’s what she said to me.

And yesterday, when I was asked “what are your emotions?”, I replied, “Anger.”

“Anything else.”

“Anger. That about covers it.”

How DO YOU THINK I FEEL? I just spent four hours packing up the entire work supplies of one of my best friends. I just had to say goodbye to a man who has two children under the age of 2. I just had to hug a man who has been a part of this community for 27 years.

So, yes, I am angry. Very angry. There’s no “seem” about it.

And to say that I shouldn’t feel that way is absolutely absurd. You can’t have seen what I have seen and have had the conversations I have had and not be absolutely angry.

Any Other Day

I wrote what follows this morning as I was about to walk out the door. I hesitated in publishing it because I was holding out hope that this day might not end in the complete disaster that it had the potential to do.

I quit my job today.

But I walk out of there in damn good company, and I’m proud to be among the amazing people I am. And I’m so very sorry for how badly people were treated today…..

It’s just like any other gloomy morning, except it was easy to wake up today.

I did 20 minutes of stretching, have MSNBC on, made a pot of coffee.

I cut a lemon wedge and squeezed it into the bottom of my water bottle.

Showered.

Threw and apple and an orange in my bag.

Prepared my to-go coffee.

Combed through my hair.

Looked at my eyes square in the mirror.  And because I could still do that this morning, this might be it….

There are two options, according to my dad. I might hybrid the options, but I know what I have to do.

Dreams

On Friday night, I had an interesting dream.

I was sitting at a long conference table, discussing a budget. A line on that budget was being disputed by me.

Waterboarding supplies…….$40,000

I remember the line clearly. I remember my anger over the inclusion of what I called “wasteful and evil” in the budget.

Dick Cheney and George W. Bush were seated across from me as I became angrier and angrier.

I told my dad about this dream today. I hesitated because I thought it sounded weird.

“Well, there you go,” he said.

There I go, indeed.

Viigo

Every time I fear that technology is slipping from my grasp, something new and even more ingenious arrives! I read about the beat version of Viigo in Fast Company and knew that I just had to try it.

It’s designed for the Blackberry and the very basic description is that it allows you to subscribe to RSS feeds on your phone and keep them all in one tidy little place. I was positively overjoyed because heaven knows I don’t read enough news.

picture-3

So, now I have the feed from this blog, 643Ink’s blog, Tanaya’s blog, CNN, the Dodgers, MSNBC, the New York Times, and the White House blogs all going straight to my phone. The beauty of it all is that I was able to delete about six different applications. It also gets weather updates and traffic. I have modified it to remove entertainment and such, but I’m sure its abilities are somewhat limitless.

For a news junkie like me, this is absolutely perfect!

On sisterhood…

The best thing about being the oldest sister is that oldest sister does not equal parent. I get to do all the fun stuff. I get to be the one who says “go for it.” I get to be the one who doesn’t have to think about being responsible.

Basically, I have the easy job. All I have to do is love my little brothers, and because they’re so completely awesome, that’s not hard to do.

Last year, G started training to be a wrestler. I’ve been dying to see him perform for the past few months.

I’ve seen videos of him in the past few months as he’s started appearing in shows. I will admit that the video I saw last night literally made me cry because it looks like he gets hurt! Today, I showed up at his show and wore dark sunglasses to cover my eyes in case it really did make me cry in person.

Not only did I not cry, but at several moments I jumped out of my seat to cheer for him! I wanted so much to shout out encouragement, but I was afraid I’d slip and say his name. His wrestling name is Sindarin. He won the fight that I got to see so that made it all the more fun!

Of course,  I had my camera with me so I was able to catch his moment of victory….

Moment of Victory!

Moment of Victory!

My Newest Project

A week ago, I thought it would be fun to list my favorite 100 songs of all time. And by fun, I mean a painstaking process of listing and re-listing and filtering and editing.

I’m choosing 100 songs that have meant something to my life in one way or another. You know, the songs that every time you hear them, remind you of something or someone or some moment. I bought myself multi-colored post-its for this project, and the wall above my computer is going to host these colorful tidbits of my life. The colors aren’t associated with the songs in any particular way. I just wanted them to be bright.

I had no problem listing the first 42 songs. I don’t really think I’ll have a problem reaching 100. Where I think the trouble will lie is in ranking them.

Song #1 is going to be easy. I don’t think you’d need a lot of clues on that one. Song #2 was also a given….

Then it gets a little messy.

Until then, I’m kind of happy to have these on the wall. Each one is like a snapshot of a pretty (or not so pretty) memory, but definitely a memory that has been an amazing part of my life….

The Wall

The Wall

Once they’re ranked, I may move this to another blog. Simply because at some point I’ll probably want it to be a book.

Things your mother told you not to do

One of my favorite things about President Obama is that he does all kinds of things that we’re (at least I) are told not to do. Saying “I won” was a big one for me. Scrapping a zillion dollars of education to work in an impoverished area was a close second. Getting a dog. It’s fun stuff.

BUT this by far is my favorite moment thus far:

Obama Tipping His Chair Back
Obama Tipping His Chair Back

CALLIE SHELL / AURORA FOR TIME

I was told throughout my childhood not to tip my chair back. I still do it (oops!), but I LOVE this shot of Obama tipping his chair back in anticipation of a meeting!