“Well, the good news is that if you lose 10 more pounds from the stress of this job, you could most definitely be a stripper.”
“Bartender, the two Swedish guys drank from my cup….that’s kind of a problem.”
ME: So, if go back far enough, we can see that Jesus descended from Abraham.
STUDENT: Wait, wait, hold up. Jesus was related to the first President of the United States?!?
BOSS: I have to provide an 8-10 page report about the faculty every month.
FRIEND: You know 2 of those pages are about us.
ME: Two EACH. With pictures. From surveillance.
“Him!! The Scary, Jack o’ Lantern pedophile? I would not let him teach my puppy!”
FRIEND: I just don’t know why your crush (on Ochocinco) is slight.
ME: Well, he’s just in the rare category of I’d rather BE him.
“I feel like I’m in a fishbowl. The whole world is just going on around us….”
Happy End of the Week!