anger: bold as love

Anger! He smiles
Towering in shiny metallic purple armour
Queen jealousy envy waits behind him
Her firey green gown sneers at the grassy ground
Blue are the life-giving waters taken for granted
They quietly understand

I think around noon today, I realized that I was no longer in a bad mood. I think after the anger subsided around Friday night, exhaustion settled in over it.

So, this is more a thank you. To a friend who always makes me laugh and reminds me that I’m human. And to a friend who deals with my absolute insanity…

I couldn’t be luckier if I tried.


Adverb clauses to be exact.

I’ve never been so agitated by adverb clauses in my life. The lesson–which was planned–turned into a symbol of a very bad week. After my meltdown on Wednesday, I sat through an assembly where a PowerPoint was riddled with grammatical errors that I had JUST taught in my classes. When I went back to teach the last two classes, I was fuming. And I was so upset that you would have thought my poor students had been responsible for the atrocities.

(And with that last sentence, I realize that I just had a really bad week and this will be the last moment I bring it up.)

So, we proceed to a memo handed out to all students on Friday. Seven. Count them seven mistakes of the same type. There was a small (okay, large) part of me that wanted to ask my students to proofread the letters.

is this where ‘crazy’ comes in?

In addition, to my full-time teaching job, which pretty much reams me on a daily basis, I realized yesterday as I was running around that I just may have taken my insanity to a whole new level.

I’m also starting graduate school–again–because in my own words, “I was bored.”

And am forcing myself to write every single day so I can finish this novel by July 13 (yup, I’m putting that out there to force myself to finish). Add to that the fact that I have come up with 3 new story ideas in the last week.

And the best part of all….

My darling little brothers have challenged me to qualify for an MMA fight. Don’t ask. There is no reason on God’s green Earth for me to accept such a ridiculous challenge. I have started a weightlifting routine that I’m 98.5% sure is going to kill me. I figure win or lose, at least I’ll be in better shape. And I really do need to distract myself for the next few weeks. (Yes, I’m saying few.)

Say a prayer. Light a candle. Whatever you can do to help. I have 3 candles going….and a whole lot of laughter.

Oh yea, and it’s baseball season. Which is a whole other commitment.

temper, temper

That’s pretty much the only way to describe my day.

On the irony side, my friend and I were split up into two separate meetings, and we somehow how had the exact same meltdown at the exact same time.

Then, I spent the rest of the day annoyed with myself that I had lost my temper. The whole rest of the day.  I was doing so well, too. But they push. And push and push.

secret clubhouse

I told my little brothers last night that they should appreciate me because I have to work so hard to get into their secret clubhouse.

I stared at them, trying to be serious, detailing the years of things they’ve been involved in together that I’ve had to learn in order to be able to talk to them. And I said…”and think about how much my feelings have been hurt.”

Then, they both doubled over in laughter, and I fell out of their Evil Baseball Chair (their words not mine).

So, we’re doing fantasy baseball together. And I really need to get it together this year because as I was sitting there, they both rattled off the day’s stats for all of their starters on their respective teams.

As the littlest one always tells me: Go big or go home. (And, I guess–get out of the secret clubhouse.)

your soul is showing

Last Sunday, I had dinner at my parents house. I left later than I usually do on Sunday nights, coming up with three different plots to not have to go to work the next day.

When I finally got home, I realized that my line of thinking was going to make my week entirely miserable. Since I knew going in that there was going to be a minimal amount of sleep involved in my week, I figured that I would be doubly miserable about Wednesday when the exhaustion hit me.

So, I said to myself that it is all positive. Every single bit of it. Continue reading