Where you feel like everything is absolutely perfect? It’s always (for me) just for a split second. And it always follows a really good day.
There’s this spot on the 101-N that it generally happens for me. It’s on my drive home from my parents’ house. There’s a curve and then the second the Los Angeles skyline comes into view where I get a chill. And I realize that I am insanely blessed and insanely happy. Like I couldn’t even really describe it to you. And it supersedes every bit of stress that exists in my life. All of the things that I should care about but I don’t really because they’re inconsequential to the happiness of my soul.
Yesterday, it came with an even better realization. One that doesn’t happen very often for me. But I had this distinct feeling of pride. For myself. That rarely happens. I don’t impress myself often because I always feel like there’s vast room for improvement.
This realization, though, made me feel one thing in specific: I’ve done good work. Really good work. For years. And I’m proud of myself for the work I’ve chosen and the way I’ve done it.
There’s a part of me that’s sorry that it’s over. But six years is a long time. And there’s probably some healing that needs to be done. I’m ready for that now. I wasn’t before, and I realize now that that’s okay. This and everything falling into place as it was only able to happen when the work was done.
Probably not forever. But for now.