in 2011, I …

…will turn 29! A fact that makes me very excited because it will be one year away from 30. I’m pretty sure I’m the only person in the world (or only girl—yup, still girl) who is excited to turn 30. But so be it.

…might possibly join match.com. Or maybe eharmony. Or maybe both. Why you ask? For two reasons. One, I think filling the profile will be downright funny. Two, my mom would be happy. I like making my mom happy.

…will post the list of rules that has been saved as a draft here for a couple of months. Rules. Yup, I’ve got ’em. Along with questions. There are two, you know.

…more likely than not disappear at some point. Someone will ask me if I’m okay. Probably through multiple platforms. I probably still won’t respond. For a few days after I resettle into my normal life, I’ll have this small twinge of guilt, but eventually I’ll realize that I don’t care. If I cared, I’d stop doing it.

…will cry at a baseball game. There’s just no way around that one. I’m predicting that it will involve Clayton Kershaw, but really I’m not a psychic.

…will dream of my grandmothers. I will share the sunrise with my grandmother sitting on a dock on a lake in Central California. She’ll tell me that she loves me, and I’ll know that everything is perfect in my world.

…will meet an angel. He/She will hand me a book or tell me something or give me a hug at the exact moment that I need it. And everything will change.

…will be grateful. The beauty of my life will continue to overwhelm me. All of the little things in life will be awe-inspiring and people will think that I’m childish. That will make me smile.

…will not make detailed plans. Ever. I just can’t do it. I’ll make decisions when I want to about what I want to. I won’t worry about where the money will come from or how I’ll pay my bills. And I’ll always be okay.

…will find a way to push myself. My brain or my body will be put to the test.

…will laugh an awful lot. Mostly at myself. Sometimes at you, but mostly I’ll find humor in everything I do and everything that happens “to” me.

in 2010, I…

…learned that I could teach girls.

…learned what it felt like to do a job that presented no challenges, that was a form of drudgery, and sapped the life out of me.

…made a friend who I could laugh with for hours. Usually at work. And we usually cried.

…got fired for the first time.

…turned 28.

…enjoyed months of baseball and learned that my youngest brothers love the game more than I do.

…spent 6 months of Friday nights talking until three in the morning, walking home with you and almost getting hit in the intersection at 3rd St. nearly every single time, and reawakening my dreams through your questions.

…hit a $4 balance in my bank account three days before my rent was due.

…climbed more trees.

…saw the most successful wedding season of our company history with my best friend.

…focused on discipline.

…made myself run. And run. And run.

…wrote the draft of entire novel.

…took a class to help me write a mystery novel—something I did for the first time when I was 12!

…remembered how much I love to write.

…visited Pittsburg, KS for the first time.

…started to work from home.

…really began to revel in solitude.

…eliminated 75% of my personal debt.

…read like there was no tomorrow.

…discovered Paulo Coelho.

…started to listen to my dreams again. The actual dreams of my sleep.

…started to pray to St. Jude again.

…was a vegetarian for 4 months.

…actually gave out my phone number—twice.

…realized how much I missed you.

…took a job for money.

…remembered all of the fun parts of teaching.

…still didn’t buy a new pair of work shoes.

…survived the fourth substantial period of unemployment of my adult life.

…loved you.

…loved the person I have become.

year in review – part 1

Since I still have a couple of weeks, I’m just starting to reflect on 2010. It’s been interesting, exhilarating, crushing, challenging and awesome all at the same time.

The only thing I really wanted to say right now is that as I have thought about where I’ve been and where I’m going, I’ve realized that no two years of my “adult” life have been even remotely the same.

That makes me happy.

conversations I have

This is not word for word, but the conversation went something like this…

Me: I have a two-question test.

Unnamed guy: And one of the questions is ‘what car do you drive’?

Me: No.

Unnamed guy: So, does it matter what kind of car a guy drives?

Me: Absolutely. (PAUSE) If you drive something like a Mercedes or a BMW, I will never, ever go out with you.

Unnamed guy: (PAUSE) What?

Me: Yes.

Unnamed guy: That’s not how it goes.

Me: Yes. If you would spend that much for a car then your values are out of whack (laughing).

(PAUSE)(PAUSE)(PAUSE)

Unnamed guy: I think for the first time in my life, I feel lucky that I’m poor.

I wish someone videotaped this stuff.