not blogging

The last three posts I’ve written are sitting as drafts. See, I’ve made a promise to myself not to complain. Honestly, they are not even true complaints, but they’re not happy and I’m trying to this an unhappy free zone.

But I also want to be honest so I’m going to just write a list. Facts only:

  • My brother gave me “Moneyball” for Christmas, and I just started reading it. A few chapters in, the short version is that it’s the story of Billy Beane. It really makes me want to be a baseball scout. Like really badly.
  • I switched my runs to outdoor runs this week because the weather has been so nice and because I really want to run a 5K. It hasn’t been nearly as bad as I thought it could be. I will say, though, that Elysian Park is brutal.
  • Every time I look at these cats, I really just want a dog. It’s starting to get to me.
  • I realized on Saturday evening that for the past 7 years I’ve done the exact same thing and gotten the exact same results. I know that’s part of the definition of insanity, BUT this time I didn’t expect different results. I knew what I was doing this time.
  • One of the best friends I’ve made in my adult life moved to South America five months ago. And while I fully support his happiness, I miss him terribly. That’s starting to get to me, too.
  • I have an overwhelming desire to disappear right now. I’m slowly shutting down social networking, except for Twitter at this point because that’s my only source of news.
  • The other thing that has been weighing heavily on my mind is that there was this guy I went out with for a while, and while I know we don’t belong together, I feel really bad that he never knew why I liked him.
  • I really, really, really miss baseball. When I spent thirty minutes this morning reading minor league stats, I realized that someone needs to play a game soon.
  • I have had this friend since freshman year of high school. And with all of the above thoughts rolling around in my brain and exhaustion from trying to catch up after three months of working two full-time jobs, I appreciate all of the laughter last night. All joking aside, he truly is one of my soul mates.
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