I wonder what year I made this … Some things never change.
I never come back to this blog because I don’t want to write “I’m-coming-back-to-this-blog” post. It seems so daunting. Do I have to update everything that I’ve done in the years since I’ve last posted? Do I have to apologize for the random few posts when my daughter was first born and I wanted to try out Amazon affiliates? Do I pretend like it never happened and start fresh?
I’ve decided upon: sit down and write. Write it like you used to write. I’m the same. Except I’m not.
The samely different, I think.
But I remember. I remember when Pandora was life. I loved my stations. I worked hard to create them. They were beautiful. They helped me write. They helped me run.
Two things that have fallen the way of Pandora.
Except I write every day. I did it. I’m a full-time, work from home curriculum write. Full time. Like for real. I’ve been plugging away at this for over a decade. Tiny little projects. Huge projects. Breaks from freelancing because it was too hard to maintain and still teach. And then I quit. Again. And then I panicked. For the first time ever. And I told myself – three applications a day until you get it. And I did.
And bam! A year later – a year of extreme sweat and sacrifice – my company brought in a quarter of a million dollars. Like seriously.
I made it.
The girl who dreamed of this. Who developed these playlists and listened to them ad nauseum plugging away at my life dreams.
I did it.
And this was the first week that I didn’t work an insane amount of hours, and I wanted to write something for myself. So, I dusted off — my, uh password? – and came back in here.
And guess what?
Pandora is playing. I started with the station made from my favorites. And they’re still favorites. It’s like a little slice of nostalgia.
Everything’s changed but it’s still exactly the same.
I don’t teach anymore. At least not for now. Who knows what will happen. But the fact that I actually left the classroom is monumental for me. It was such a huge part of my identity for so long. It was me. And now it’s not. And it’s weird. It’s really weird. I don’t miss it in my day-to-day life, but I miss it theoretically if that makes sense.
I’m a mom. For real. Of two kids (I’m ignoring those Amazon posts). A girl and a boy. And they’re my everything. They are the reason that I have pushed so hard for the past year. And you know what? It’s an amazing feeling to be able to care for them and feed them and buy things they want and need. It’s all I could have wanted.
Layla just came on. I always said I’d name my daughter Layla Rhiannon. I didn’t. Probably a good thing. But it’s good.
Life is good.
It’s not Pandora anymore, but it’s beautiful.
“Sure, I could take better care of myself. I suppose I could eat nothing but organic foods, get eight hours of sleep every night, stop smoking. Things like that. Maybe it would add a couple years to my life. But what the hell?” – Janis Joplin
….that five-minute conversation we would have had at the beginning of class about whether or not I’ve heard the new Wiz Khalifa.
I’m seriously in a different world.
Cobra Bow Tie by The Canine Gospel. But it was a close tie with Boogie Man by the same band.
The write-up is for another time because I’ve only listened to their demo about eighteen times today, and that’s not nearly enough for an adequate opinion. (I’m totally serious about that.)
But suffice it to say, I have a total love affair with electric guitars. And this band is my new crush.
I was trying to edit wedding pictures today when I got sidetracked by the overabundance of pictures I had of the musicians at the wedding. This wedding featured a mariachi band, a live DJ, and a traditional rock-type band. I had a lot of fun playing with the pictures and presets in Lightroom.
And all the while my one major thought was: If I could have a beer with any two people in the world, it would be David Hidalgo and Louie Perez.
I’ve pretty much been listening to Led Zeppelin for the past three weeks or so. Just been in that kind of mood. Plus, it’s good working and running music. I like the transitions to be seamless so pulling the iPod off the dock and switching to headphones to run is important. My current favorite, favorite song is “What is and What Should Never Be.” Screeching guitars. And it totally sets you up to think you’re going to get a nice, slow song. Then, BAM! That’s a good description of my overall mood, too.
Coincidentally, this has become my wedding-prep song. (Not for me getting married, but for shooting weddings.) Don’t ask.
For the books:
I picked up today “The Bullpen Gospels.” I heard Keith Olbermann talk about it a couple of months ago and was so disappointed to figure out that he had obviously gotten an advanced copy. So, I’m excited for it in a major way. Plus, I think it will help with the rewrites I’m about to begin.
The other is “The Winner Stands Alone” by Paulo Coelho. I’m working my way through Coelho’s books in the order they appear in my life. Seriously. I’ve had friends hand them to me. Then, I found one sitting on the shelf–out of place–at the library a few weeks ago. So, when I returned it today, this book was the only remaining book in the “Coelho” section. Figured that it must be the right time for it. The eerie thing about these books is that not only do I feel like they’re telling my story, but I also feel they’ve been timed perfectly each and every time.