pickup lines that will never work on a teacher

1. If I had a teacher like you, I might have learned to read.

Ummmm…that means you can’t read. Which means I think you’re stupid. Which means we’ll never, ever have anything to talk about.

2. You don’t look like a teacher.

Obviously, whatever context I’m meeting you in that’s not me standing in front of a classroom is going to be me not looking like a teacher. 

3. If all the teachers in my high school looked like you, I probably would have graduated.

Reference comment #1.

4. You absolutely would have made the TILF list at my school.

I’m sorry. That’s absolutely creepy and overly disturbing.

BUT the most epic fail in this regard is chronicled here: Smart girls aren’t pretty?


I’ve been stockpiling these (as you can see), but most are the same or very similar. And nothing ever outdid the ‘smart girls aren’t pretty’ line.