why I annoy people :-)

I could literally write a whole blog about the ridiculous things people say to me. Here goes another gem….

Co-worker: You’re way too competitive with yourself.

Me: Well, find me someone worthy of competition, and I’ll compete with them.

Co-worker: What are you trying to say?

Me: That I don’t appreciate your comment.

I was kind of tired yesterday.

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more awesome conversations

(This one from work.)

Me: Hey, C—-, I’m trying to get some support for this charity boxing idea I have.

Coworker 1: We’re doing charity boxing here?

Me: Well…no. But…don’t you think we should?

Coworker 1: Are you volunteering to fight?

Me: Of course.

Coworker 2: Her volunteering is not the problem. She’s also volunteering her opponents.

Me: (to Coworker 1): Just think about it. Me and you-know-who in the ring. Just picture it. I wouldn’t even need that long. Think how many problems that would solve.

Coworker 2: I don’t like where this conversation is going…

more conversations with my mom

(Disclaimer: This is by no means meant to mock my mother. I love her dearly, and sometimes she really, really makes me laugh.)

Sunday Night Dinner

Mom:  What are you doing this week?

Me: work…blah..blah..blah…run….write…blah…blah. Oh! I’m finally going rock climbing.

(short pause)

Mom: Jana (pause) please don’t tell that boy that you’ve always wanted to be Spider-Man.

Me: Why not? Don’t you think he should know?

Mom: He’s going to think you’re crazy.

Me: (silence–raised eyebrows)

Mom: Oh, you’re right. He probably already knows you’re crazy.

conversations I have

This is not word for word, but the conversation went something like this…

Me: I have a two-question test.

Unnamed guy: And one of the questions is ‘what car do you drive’?

Me: No.

Unnamed guy: So, does it matter what kind of car a guy drives?

Me: Absolutely. (PAUSE) If you drive something like a Mercedes or a BMW, I will never, ever go out with you.

Unnamed guy: (PAUSE) What?

Me: Yes.

Unnamed guy: That’s not how it goes.

Me: Yes. If you would spend that much for a car then your values are out of whack (laughing).

(PAUSE)(PAUSE)(PAUSE)

Unnamed guy: I think for the first time in my life, I feel lucky that I’m poor.

I wish someone videotaped this stuff.