busy-ness

It’s funny because it seems like the second you learn to balance life as it exists, it all changes. And suddenly, you’re reconfiguring it all again. I suppose the best (and worst) part is doing that causes constant self reflection for me. Sometimes that’s awesome, but sometimes it’s not that great. Past the demons that I wrote about a couple of weeks ago are just, well, what I would call flaws. Maybe weaknesses. And reconfiguring time again has helped those to show.

Often it seems that it all comes back to time, and I guess that makes sense. What you do with it, who you spend it with all tells about your interests and priorities.

I’ve been home from one training for about a week and a half–probably not even that long–and I’m off again today. I think I’d just like to sit in my home. Yet, the solution in my mind says otherwise. I just thought to myself, “as soon as I get home from this, I need to head out to the desert.” I suppose that would cure some ills, but not the ones that stem from lack of care and attention to my home.

The best part, though, is that I finally feel like I’ve reached a point where there is limitless time to do everything I want to do. I guess all that leaves for me to figure out is the discipline.

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re-disciplining

I lie when I say I’m not a disciplined person. I’m only undisciplined when it comes to things like chocolate, potato chips and coffee. And even then, if I truly decide to, I can become quite disciplined.

That’s truly the case with anything I do.

It’s been a long time since I’ve studied for anything. And it’s been never since I’ve studied for a standardized test. I never studied for the SAT or the CBEST or the GRE the first time I took it. I bought a book for the GRE the first time around, and I think  I opened it twice. Then, I probably got bored or decided the test was stupid.

Maybe I still think that. Ok, I still do think that. But I also want to break the 90th percentile in the verbal analogy section.  So I have committed to going through each and every word in this nifty book of mine.

I bought index cards for this. Seriously.

I shuffled through the first 100 that I made at the gym this morning. It’s taken me six hours to get through “A.” Oh, how I wish I was kidding. Who knew there were so many words that begin with A that I do not know the meaning for?

I’m now in a coffee shop, sitting across from the communications crew from the Grammy Museum. They look like they’re having a lot more fun than me. They’re proofing their monthly newsletter. Lucky.

And as I sit here, I realize that I have bad study habits. I always have. I blame my parents (seriously). At the same time, I thank them because I never missed anything fun because I had to study. Music. Baseball games. Conversations. Had them all and still was a pretty good student.

So, I have an iPod, am answering email, stopping to write cover letters and submit resumes and then resuming my studies.

On to….the “B”s….