are you happy?

When you asked me so long ago, I said I wasn’t unhappy.

You told me that you weren’t happy. And every time I feel anything less than happy, I think of you. I would never admit that because it doesn’t seem like a nice thing to do (or say), but I realized why today.

I heard Paulo Coelho speak and when asked the same question he said, “No.”

Again, I don’t feel better that someone else is unhappy, and for the most part I truly feel happy. But I do feel better.

I feel better to know that people who I admire greatly, who seemingly have it all figure out are not done yet. That gives me hope for times like this when the unhappiness that lurks inside me is more present that usual.

I know, now, that it’s happened so many times in the past, and I just didn’t know how to explain it, but I also know that it’s always been fixable.

So, thanks. Thanks for asking me then. And for leaving your answer with me now.

50 Things

I read in The First Draft a post about 50 things that bring happiness. The task was simple enough. To list 50 things that make you happy.  I didn’t read much into the process suggested by the blogger (courtneykane, who I love!), but I decided that I would do it as a stream of consciousness. So, I made the list of 50 in a rapid fire approach without thinking too hard or ranking them in any kind of order. Then, I went back to make a short comment about each.

Here goes….

  1. Laughing As in the soul-tickling, tear-evoking type of laughter. Laughing about things I shouldn’t be laughing about with really good friends. Silly fits of giggles that don’t stop for hours.
  2. Books Any and all. (Well, maybe not.) But books that touch somewhere deep inside and provide a little direction or insight. Books that touch a memory. Books that hit the core of the human spirit.
  3. Writing Just putting it out on paper. Writing creatively. Putting imagination into being. Sorting the deepest thoughts of my soul.
  4. Words Providing a visible manifestation of what exists in me. Finding representations of what exists in other people.
  5. Baseball The simplicity of the game. The complexity of the game. The metaphor it provides for life. The distraction it provides from life. Following players from the minor leagues to the major leagues.
  6. Meditation Finding the deep part inside me. And listening to it. Stilling myself to the point that nothing else exists but the soul.
  7. Running Finding a rhythm between body and soul. Shutting down the mind to stretch the capacity of the body.
  8. Music A universal language. As a collision of sound and silence. As a motivation, inspiration and comfort.
  9. little brothers As my three best friends. As absolute delights to my life and my being. As a responsibility and a privilege. Continue reading