more conversations with my mom

Discussing her impending retirement (as in today was the last day of work for her–ever–in life. Have I mentioned I’m jealous?):

I’m too old for this ish.

But, my dear mother, you are not too old to say ish. So, I have to say that bodes pretty well for this retirement of yours.

Felicidades to my amazing mom.

the second conversation

Me: I’m really disappointed in  myself because I drove past BevMo at least seven times last week, and I never picked up that blueberry ale.

Mom: You’re going to go nuts in a place like that.

Me: I don’t think so. I haven’t been drinking really. I can’t drink and run this much.

Mom: Well, you know you should always keep a supply of liquor.

Me: For what?

Mom: To clean wounds.

wandering thoughts

I don’t really know why they’re wandering. Maybe they’re more like scattered.

I’m really excited for baseball. Like hopping around my apartment excited. I’m even excited for the Phillies’ rotation. Really.

Ever since that day, I’ve led a completed charmed life. I’m not even afraid to jinx it because the opportunity just keeps coming.

I had to sit through a presentation on 4 Loko today. When I told my mom what’s in it, she said, and I quote “That sounds exactly like you.”  (I was going to post it as a whole conversation, but my brain is really tired right now. I’ve churned out way too many words today.)

Funny how my solution to my tired brain is to write more.

I learned yesterday that you can register the outline of a literary work. So, the story of professional baseball’s first female manager officially belongs to me for the next five years.

My extended outline is redone. Yay! And turned in just an hour before deadline time.

Two words: bottle. rockets.

I miss calling you a creep every week.

My mom knows what Wiz Khalifa sings. Just saying.

I learned how to Dougie with a 1-year-old.

Someone said that to take joy in your work is the greatest thing you can accomplish. And I do. And I’m grateful.

And lastly, I’m so proud to be loved by you.



more conversations with my mom

(Disclaimer: This is by no means meant to mock my mother. I love her dearly, and sometimes she really, really makes me laugh.)

Sunday Night Dinner

Mom:  What are you doing this week?

Me: work…blah..blah..blah…run….write…blah…blah. Oh! I’m finally going rock climbing.

(short pause)

Mom: Jana (pause) please don’t tell that boy that you’ve always wanted to be Spider-Man.

Me: Why not? Don’t you think he should know?

Mom: He’s going to think you’re crazy.

Me: (silence–raised eyebrows)

Mom: Oh, you’re right. He probably already knows you’re crazy.

Worry? What, me?

Aren’t you worried?

That was my mom’s question to me this evening. I took her up on her offer for pizza and tabouleh after work. I’ve had what could be considered a somewhat trying week. It’s been exhausting and simultaneously a personal challenge.

Well, I mean sure. But in the grand scheme of life worries, this is merely a blip on the radar.

I’ve decided to make a career change. Yup. During the middle of a recession (read: depression), I have decided that this is the most opportune time to look for a new job. And why not? I have this desire to be fulfilled at all times, and truthfully there are elements of myself and huge portions of my soul that are grossly unfulfilled right now.

I guess that makes sense. I mean you would know better than anyone.

Life decisions. I’m going to be very honest right now. The only thing that truly stresses me out about them is thinking/knowing that I am disappointing my parents. Some of it is imagined, but some of it is very real. I think they fear sometimes that I don’t have a plan. But, I do. It’s a plan deeply rooted in being true to myself. And, that’s a plan they created, started and nurtured.

This is a whole new ballgame, mom. And thank you.

I meant that “thank you” wholeheartedly. I think hearing my mom say that I would know best is one of the single greatest things I’ve heard in my life. I told her that it’s totally different this time around. I know a lot more people, and I’m a lot more confident in my abilities. I know what I am capable of, and I’m entirely comfortable talking about it. There is something freeing about that confidence. I know that speaking freely allows me to put it all out on the table  and will ultimately make wherever I end up be a true match to my personality.

During this past week, a lot of different elements of my personality and self have been questioned and brought into the limelight. I realized this week that I am genuinely happy with the person who I am. This is not to say that I am perfect or that there are not things I need to work on, but I am happy to say that I know I am a work in progress.

So, yes. Thanks, mom, indeed.

Celery, Carrots, and Pomegranate Juice…Oh My!

Around 3 p.m. today I decided that I wanted a potato chip. Yup, just one.

About four weeks ago, I made an agreement with my mom that we would cut out junk food from our diets. At the very least from our snacking. So about four weeks ago, I stopped putting sugar in my coffee and tea. I stopped eating candy. I stopped eating potato chips. Soda has been reserved for my two trips to the desert and then only in moderation. I carry around a bottle of water that I “flavor” with a lime wedge.

Argh! Is all I have to say.

This is very hard for me. I’m not a dieter. It’s very hard for me to watch what I eat. I can’t even stay away from milk like I’m supposed to and then lo and behold I get a wretched sore throat and I instantly remember why milk is forbidden.

I have replaced sugar with fruit, and I eat it all day now.

Potato chips are the hardest because my mom suggested carrot sticks. Ick, was my exact response. Not that I hate carrots. I just don’t consider them to be in the same crunch category as potato chips.

I did my grocery shopping today between work and the gym (we also pledged to exercise 5 times a week), and I was genuinely tempted to get at least one little bag of some kind of chip. For whatever reason, I decided not to. I suppose I’m glad.

That’s not true. I am glad, especially since I just spoke to my mom and she’s managed to stay on track. I’d have hated to have been the one who messed up. One, because that would just be kind of mean. And two because I hate losing!

Onward, I say.

Money: That's what I ….

Yesterday during lunch, the conversation turned to the economy and money in general. I was a little nervous about the direction the conversation would take because our new business manager/account was part of the discussion. I was sure that I was going to have to make a graceful exit as her delved into a world of portfolios and interest rates and the stock market.

I was pleasantly surprised when he said, the problem with our economy is that people started worshipping money. If it was up to me, I would say we should bottom out and start from scratch.


That’s not what I was expecting at all.  He went on to say that if people worried less about money, they would worry more about their families and their relationships. They would read more. They would spend days in the park with their kids.

Those are all things I did with my family when I was growing up. They’re all things that have shaped me into a person who doesn’t need new shoes every month, a fancy car, or designer clothes.

It’s hard to find people who share my beliefs in money.

So, I spent some time at my parents’ home last night (doing laundry!) talking to my mom about the stress of my day.

Because of a variety of weird incidents, I ended up having to pay extra for my plane ticket and was not able to transfer a ticket to my friend. In addition to the stress of the situation, I was pretty upset by the amount of money it was going to cost to fix the situation.

“It’s just money,” my mom said. “You’re still going to have fun.”

And she said it again, “It’s just money. You’re fine.”

That is the story of  my life with  my parents. We never had a lot of “things” but for the things that we did….it was always “just money.”

In giving it away, in helping people out, or in just having fun, I’m really glad that I have that point of view. In fact, the only time I worry about money is when….I worry about money. Otherwise, it all seems fine….